The women we choose

It’s wild to think that we’ve just wrapped up our fifth Women’s Empowerment Retreat. Since returning from Botswana, there’s a question I’ve been holding close. It was one that echoed quietly yet insistently during our time at Xigera and has only grown louder since:

What if the most powerful thing you could do for women… was to choose women?

Contemporary culture and history have taught us how deeply women have internalized the patriarchy—how we unwittingly reinforce it by constantly choosing men when we could choose women. Is your doctor, lawyer, pilot, guide, ranger, travel advisor, chef, or OBGYN a woman? Are you making these choices consciously, so our daughters and granddaughters can inherit a more equitable world? How do we break free and discover the integrity and wholeness we seek if we don’t start by choosing one another?

Choice is, after all, a form of power—and this year’s retreat reminded me that every choice we make, from where we stay, who we hire, who we listen to, becomes part of a broader story…

The power of perception

For every Women’s Empowerment Retreat, we actively seek out lodges that have a strong female presence—places where women have been chosen to lead, fly, guide, cook, design, track. When we first asked Xigera if they had a female guide, the answer was no. But they listened and acted, identifying, nurturing, and training Tshepo Phokoje. Supported by Women in Tourism Botswana, she made the leap from photography to guiding and is now Xigera’s first female guide—a reminder of what can happen when women are chosen. She is the future we are building.

And then there's Xigera itself. It’s often said that the lodge is a love letter to African artisanship, and indeed, over 90% of the furniture, design, and artworks that fill the lodge were privately commissioned from eighty of Africa’s top contemporary artists and craftspeople. It’s also a celebration of what happens when beauty, depth, and emotional intelligence co-exist. With the help of Claire Breukel, Head of Global Partnerships at Zeitz MOCAA, who illuminated the artistry, many of our guests witnessed how creativity can be a form of empowerment.

Beyond the art, there we were immersed in nature. Surrounded by the wild and exquisite landscapes of Botswana and the drama of the sky unfolding in front of us, my opening words rang true: “When we engage in the beautiful, a new fluency is set free within us and between us.” During the week, I saw that fluency in the sacred Okavango Delta, where quietness reigns and beauty abounds. We basked in the silence as we floated along the lily-filled waterways on mokoros; we reveled in the thrill of lions ROARing under fiery, sunset skies; we laughed around the boma under the brightest moon I’ve seen in years; and we listened… because when beauty is present, possibility expands and hope is restored.

Alongside them, many other extraordinary women shared their journeys. Each voice added a new dimension: the importance of advocacy, the necessity of action and the enduring truth that our credo holds: “When African women rise, wildlife will thrive.” Whether through tourism, conservation, education, art or community development, each woman illuminated what it truly means to lead with purpose.

The ripples that roar

I have always said for this to work it involved the power of perception. We saw it as the women of Xigera lit up in the presence of speakers and guests who mirrored their potential; we felt it as Ednah stepped into the kitchen and shared her passion and her story. We watched it in Tshepo as she took to guiding us in the bush with quiet confidence, carving a path for other women to follow. I believe this is the true impact – a quiet revolution, led by women, sustained by choice.